Keeping it Local

Hey all, here is an article I sent in to our local newspaper and to our Mayor. Though I am a pretty serious social activisit, or so I like to think, I have come across the double edged sword of the need for bigger corporations to come into our city in order to keep our shopping local. Read on and you can see what I mean by that. Your comments are certainly appreciated.

The Article:

As a member of this beautiful city and as a contributor to the work force in our community I have become deeply concerned at the state of local consumerism. Our city council has urged us to buy local, to support our city and the businesses within it. This is something I would certainly do, and do if I can actually get what I am looking for here in Steinbach.

I work at Reitmans in the Clearspring Mall. Countless times a day we have customers come into the store and ask “do you carry this or that? Do you know where I can get it?” And for many of those questions, we have to sadly say they will need to go to Winnipeg to get what they need. And with that, they often choose to leave behind what they would have purchased in our store and decide to purchase it in one of our bigger, more stocked stores in Winnipeg, since they “have to go there anyway.”

This brings me to the discussion of Wal-Mart coming to Steinbach. Now, as a person who is socially aware and wants to promote social awareness this thought is certainly a double-edged sword for me. Yes, Wal-Mart has many controversial work ethics surrounding it. Yes, the clothing they supply is likely made in the slave trade. At the same time, it is a corporation like Wal-Mart, if brought into Steinbach that could help make our city thrive. Besides the obvious employment opportunities, a big store like Wal-Mart actually helps with growth in other stores also. For example, the store I work in right now can only offer so much in product because we are a “small store” for our chain. We don’t generate enough in customer walk-ins to carry all the same product the bigger stores within our chain do in Winnipeg. If we get a store like Wal-Mart, we can build a bigger box store near the Wal-Mart because we are then guaranteed the customer base that is generated by those going to Wal-Mart and we can carry more product in our store which stops customers from having to head to Winnipeg. The same could likely be said for Bluenotes, Warehouse One and Mark’s Work Wearhouse. It also generates the possibility of more stores moving in because of the bigger customer base generated and not just clothing stores. This is a possibility for all stores. Steinbach’s existing stores should not feel threatened by a big store like Wal-Mart moving in, but rather see it as a way of “keeping it local”. Even for those who refuse to shop at Wal-Mart, they still don’t have to shop there, but they will notice growth in the stores they like to shop at because of it.

We now have the problem of people buying in Winnipeg because it is there they can get everything they need. We are in a time of “save money, fewer stops, less store to store shopping” and that sends Steinbachers to Winnipeg to get all they need, rather than buying what they can get here in the city and getting the rest in Winnipeg. Don’t we rather want to keep it all in Steinbach? Don’t we rather want to generate more employment opportunities for our growing population? We need to find a way to cater to ALL people who live in our community.

The same idea goes with bringing in the Boston Pizza or a hotel/convention center. Yes, our city is holding a referendum in October to allow for alcohol to be served in lounge settings which could then decide whether these businesses can move into Steinbach or not. Saying no to this will harm us employment wise, it will harm us growth wise also. Saying yes will not bring out all the alcoholics of the world. It will not promote drinking in excess. That stuff happens regardless of the outcome of the referendum. Saying yes can only benefit our city. We are keeping it local; we are bringing in more business, creating more jobs and adding potential for much more growth. Don’t we want that for our city? Don’t we want that for ourselves? This is a city that was built on faith values. Opening doors for growth brings in more people, more people to see our faith in action, to see the message presented. Allowing for alcohol to be served in sports lounges or at a hotel does not go against those faith values. There are rules and regulations that are set in place to control consumption in venues such as that. Like I said earlier, the bad apples will still show up in the basket, regardless of how careful we are. Our city had no problem having beer gardens throughout the weekend festivities of Summer in the City. And no referendum was needed for that. So let’s look at the big picture, what can we do to grow our city? What can we do to promote employment? What can we do to keep it local? Just some food for thought.

Purpose...

Purpose is what gets us up in the morning. Purpose is what takes us through the day. Purpose is what has us drop wearily into bed at night to rejuvinate for another day filled with purpose.

I lack purpose right now.

Or at the very least I lack the understanding of what my purpose is right in this moment. For the past several months I had purpose, or so I thought. With that taken away now I am lost, no map, no knowledge of where I am and where I should be heading. Without God carrying me right now, I would be a mess. I have so many possibilities in the works, but no answers. As my friend Jordan and I were discussing the other day "being in limbo sucks."

In the past several weeks I have had my moments. Moments of pure bliss, happy to know that God is carrying me through and walking me away from what would have been a miserable life. I've had moments of complete and utter sadness. Sad because I just want it to be my turn. Sad because of my lack of purpose. Sad because I see things I would like that seem to be far from reach. Then there are moments of anger. Angry at being played for a fool. Angry at myself for letting my guard down and allowing it to happen, allowing myself to be vulnerable. Angry that I get sad. Is this normal?? I know that when tragic events happen people go through stages of healing. I'm not sure my situation is 'tragic', but is this healing?

I've learned some things about myself in the past several weeks also. I have learned that sometimes what I always thought I wanted is not all it's cracked up to be. At the same time, it can be better. (I'm holding out for the better.) I've learned that no matter what, people cannot change who God made me to be and I do not have to be someone I am not just to please others. Standing up for me is ok and actually feels good. It is okay to hold out for the better, and set your standards high. Someone will hopefully meet that standard and if not, God is always way higher then any standard you set and so He will always be there hanging on, and He should always be a part of your set standard.

So, though my frustration levels grow and wane through these weeks. Though my purpose seems lost at the moment I am holding tight to the only 'perfect man' there will ever be. Allowing Him to carry me over the threshold of love. Being the bride of Christ is the only bride I need to be. Living and giving my all for God is the only purpose I need. My friends are the angels along this path of unsureness who hold me up and clap and cheer while I run this track I am on right now. My purpose right now is one foot in front of the other...

Picking up the Pieces

Well, today is day seven. I have made it through a week without too many battle scars. It has been a rough week, and of course not without tears. But I am stronger for it. Stronger in who I am and most importantly stronger in my faith and relationship with God. I could so easily have drifted down the path of severe depression (a place, unfortunately, I know all too well), but rather chose to take the hard road. I fought through it, knowing that with God carrying me I would only get stronger.

I am proud of myself for how I handled things. I was angry at first, but didn't lash out in any horrific way. I wrote an email that appologized for any bad behaviour and said that I was praying for him and wished God's blessing on him. It was not accepted that day, but on Monday night we had a long conversation on MSN (so I could translate everything into Spanish). It started as "Theresa did everything wrong" thing and I was about to sign off when I got an apology. I was shocked. Not that it made me go running back with open arms, because that won't happen, but it made me realize that maybe in time we can at least be friends.

I still have hard times where it seems I can think of nothing else but with God's help I am slowly working on thinking of other things, focusing my attention on more important issues such as finding a job and making money to pay off my schooling. Or perhaps follow my previous dream and continue on into graduate studies. The possibilities are endless. Thanks friends for helping keep my afloat with your prayers and words of encouragement you truly are gifts from God. I love you.

Sadness and a New Beginning

How fitting that my last post was titled happiness and this post is sadness. For all the happiness I talked about in my last post I have equal amounts of sadness now. The sadness comes as a result of love lost.

Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life, I ended my engagement and relationship with Manuel. In the past two months he became a very different person then the one I fell in love with. It's like an alter ego took over his body or something. A night and day difference in his personality from when he left here till he got home. I wonder if he flew through the Bermuda Triangle? I cannot even really explain it. The past 2 months should have been an exciting time of wedding planning but rather it was miserable and full of arguments. Now, I expected the arguments to come, no relationship is without a spat here and there, especially in a situation such as mine where we have major cultural differences. For the most part I gave in to a lot changes Manuel wanted me to make in regards to what I always dreamed of for my wedding. It ended up becoming Manuel's wedding and I was just showing up. I never knew there gave such a thing as groomzilla but in this case there does. I also found that slowly he was trying to change me into a complete different person, and I was letting it happen. He didn't like this about me or that about me and I tried my darndest to change everything I could. But slowly I began to realize I was not me anymore, and what Manuel wanted me to be was never going to happen. He wanted me to become completely Latino, forget everything Canadian about me. He lied to me about many things I realized and I just knew that I needed to stop this madness. This bi-polar roller coaster that I was riding on. I never knew anymore what I could say to him that would make him laugh or freak out.

Now, after taking a day to look back at the past several months I can't believe I was so blinded, that I was such a fool. How did I not see this? I was so in love that I was willing to do anything and this is what happens to me. I started to see things in a different light when a week and a half ago he accused me of not having a relationship with God. He said I didn't know God and that I shouldn't talk about Him because I didn't care anyway. Thats when I started to really realize that I could not be stuck in this relationship. We did patch things up for a week and a bit, but then yesterday it all came to an end. This time it was about money and once again me being at fault for everything. I am willing to take blame when I need to, and I am positive I have not been perfect in this relationship but I do know that someone else needs to take part of that blame and he was not willing to. Everything was my fault.

Now, I am not writing this to tell the world what a horrible person Manuel is, I am writing this as a sort of therapy as well as a way of telling my side of the story. Like I said, I know I am to blame for a good part of what went wrong in this relationship. Maybe I didn't pray about it enough or I didn't try hard enough or got angry when I misunderstood something. Maybe its the sociologist in me that had me fighting for my rights from day one and didn't like being told what to do by a man. But one thing I know for sure, we could not go on the way we were.

I have learned that I will never take my single life for granted anymore. I will never look at a couple and wish I was like them. I agree with Paul now, being single is better. You can't get hurt. I have loved and lost. I have been hurt bad, I never want to go through that again. I never want to make myself so vulnerable that I can be hurt like that. I have realized that there is no one out there for me, and I am okay with that. I am the bride of Christ and that is the only bride I need to be.

Happiness

Well, I certainly never thought that "Happiness" could ever be the title of a blog post for me. Unless I was using it in a negative term. But I mean it in the true sense of the word. I am happy. I am in love, I am planning a wedding, I love my family, and most of all I love God for carrying me this far. Life is plain good right now.
I appologize for not writing sooner, but I have been busy with Manuel here only for 3 and half weeks. I am already dreading his departure on May 6, its going to be a tough day. I am hoping that my lovely friend Felicia's blog giveaway will fall into my hands so I can use that to cheer me up:)
It is so hard to believe that school is done, I feel as busy if not busier then I did when I was in school. Only no deadlines. We have our venue booked, before Manuel leaves we will have the food decided on. We have our invitations done (thank you Staples for invitation kits:) Well, we still need to make invites for our Peruvian family and friends that will likely not come to the wedding. I am thinking I will make those in Spanish, it would be cool to see them in another language. Thats another thing I need to do before October, learn a lot of Spanish, my entire new family only speaks Spanish. It's going to be a blast. Well, I think thats all for now. I will be back, with more to say I am sure. Till next time...

House sitting and homework

So, the past week has been very long for me. On the 25th of March my brother, sister-in-law and 2 nieces headed out on a missions trip to Costa Rica for 12 days. I have been house/dog sitting for them during this time and I learned a few things about myself while here. Number One - I am allergic to dog hair. I have been stuffed up and sneezing since day 2 of being here and as soon as I am away from the house for more then a couple of hours it seems to clear up. Number Two -  I love my bed. I think most people do, but I think I really LOVE my bed. I can't believe how much I have missed it. I wanted to go home just to lie in my bed for a bit, I think it misses me as much as I miss it. Number Three - I really am a neat freak, or clean freak, or both. I will just leave it at that so as not to insult anyone.
This week will hopefully go faster then the last one. This is the last week of classes, I am pretty pumped about that. I have almost all of my assignements done except for 2 that due for a class at the end of this week. After the week is over I need prepare for only 2 exams, and fairly easy ones at that, but most importantly on the 12th the love of my life will be here. I cannot even try to explain how excited I am about this fact. He is only here for 3 weeks so we will have to make the best of it. And hopefully after those 3 weeks, or during those 3 weeks I will have some very exciting news to share...stay tuned.

Frustration

Ok, so I have not posted in awhile, sue me. A lot has been going on and therefore less time for blogging. Guess the first piece of worthy news is that I have a boyfriend. Definately one of the things that keeps me from having the time to blog. Of course, I would never have a boyfriend in the most conventional way, no I have to go for the long distance romance. Thats right, lets make it as hard as possible. So I know some of you may be wondering how I got into this relationship, and I can immediately answer that question rolling around in your head, No, I did not meet him online. Although that seems to be our soul place for dating at this point. I met Manuel through my dear friend Francesca. Francesca is from Peru, Manuel goes to Frankie's church in Peru. When Manuel and his mom Eva came to Canada this past winter for a visit Frankie introduced me to him and it was love at first sight, or something like it. At any rate, there has not been a day that goes by where Manuel and I don't talk. I only met him once in person, unfortunately he was leaving back to Peru only a few days after we met and our schedules just never worked to meet in person again. So thats the long and the short of it. We have probably squeezed 6 months of dating in 2 months through email. We have had all the serious, soul searching heart to hearts that one could possilby imagine, we are just missing the physical connection right now. And I feel that. Not the sex connection, please do not mistake what I am saying for that. But you need to have a physical connection with someone you love, and I feel that missing. I love everything else about Manuel, and know that I want to marry him. I also know that this is part of God's plan for us, but I still need to have that physical connection. Of course, that is coming but not soon enough. Manuel is flying out here on April 12 so he can be here for my grad. I think thats so sweet. And he is staying here for almost a month. I am looking forward to that time. I just wish it was now. Do you know how hard it is to do school work when you just want it to be done already? I don't even care anymore, thats sad. One month left and I have all but given up. Why can't I end this season of my life with a bang? It's frustrating. I want to do good on my last papers, yet have no motivation or care if they get done. How does that work? Anyway, enough ranting from me. I should just be happy for the position I am in, be happy for all the wonderful things God has blessed me with, because many do not get the opportunities that I have recieved. On that note, have a wonderful day everyone.

Nice to see you again

Well it certainly has been a little while since I last met you here. So I thought I should come by and say hi.

I just finished a one week, intense course at school. What is generally taught in 4 months would taught in 5 days. It was an intro to computers course and I can't imagine taking it over 4 months, it would be soooooo boring.

Now that I have had time to process all that is going on with my mom, I personally am doing a lot better. Christmas was rough, I faked happy all the way through and made it out alive at the other end. Prayers have been going up on behalf of my family all over and let me tell you we sure feel it. Thanks everyone.

Besides the crappy news about my moms health over the holidays, I did not get much of a break, as I worked almost full time at one of my jobs and more shifts then usual at my other part time job. So I decided to take this weekend off even though I could have worked all day both saturday and sunday. But I really needed to recoup before starting this next semester.

Thought I would point out some things of interest (to me at any rate) that you might wanna check out. My friend Jason has a blog called Silent Siege and his latest post mentions a book called unPlanned. Written by Abby Johnson who is a former director for Planned Parenthood. She talks about how she went from directing an abortion clinic to working for Prolife. I think this book could be a very interesting read. Thanks Jason for introducing it to me in on your blog. I certainly will be looking for this book to read in the near future.

If you love to crochet, like me, then I recommend the site Crochet Me. You can get tons and tons of free crochet patterns and very unique ones at that. Once I find feet small enough to fit these, then I wanna make them, cause they are so darn cute.

Well, I think thats where I will end it today. Hope your holidays were great and that your venture into 2011 was a good one. Hope your year will be spectacular. Talk to ya soon again. Much love and prayers...